disgustinggf:

tumblr isn’t a social media it’s actually my bed and u all are my plushies watching me talk to myself

tritiumsun:

My Reddit feed glitched and gave me this masterpiece.

iced-bees:

ALT

claycatz:

the-haiku-bot:

i-give-chess-pieces-to-people:

poisonousquinzel:

monkeymug:

vicariouslylivingx:

jadehariey:

durbikins:

oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted

what the fuck

I just….?

TREASURE THIS POST. IT ONLY APPEARS ON YOUR DASH ONCE IN A BLUE MOON I SWEAR

forget posting cringe to scare off Twitter folks, we just gotta make this appear to be the constant vibe here and we’ll be good skdjskksks

[ID: a pair of outstretched hands, offering a chess piece. End ID]

[ID: a pair of

outstretched hands, offering a

chess piece. End ID]

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

teathattast:

horizon-penblade:

libertineangel:

samshine-and-lollipops:

Wait, it got better.

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

Always feels weird knowing I altered the course of tumblr history bc of a post I made offhand at like 3 am on a random weekday almost 10 years ago

elektrashocktherapy:

vamprisms:

vamprisms:

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

his-shining-tears:

Poor flower…

Oh so you like birds? Name every bird.

unashamedly-enthusiastic:

dkpsyhog:

baronfulmen:

heyitsphoenixx:

lofthearted:

okay.

Keep reading

Send this post to a Twitter user who thinks we have a character limit

Everyone say thank you to OP and the keep reading function

hamvendor:

hoobert-heever:

hamvendor:

hamvendor:

hamvendor:

Everyone in porno has a cute pink little asahole with no hair or hemorrhoids. A perfect little baby starfish. Not me. My asshole is a craggy PIT

Link descending into my B HOLE

Gonna queue this up to reblog around 8am my time bc it’s not fair that only the British people get to suffer

it’s ok some of us are irish 💕

Your people have suffered enough

shawolina:

velvetys:

Kill self? Gif but in reverse